Sylvia Hullinger died on October 3rd
from natural causes. She was 63 years old.
She leaves behind a daughter and son,
a granddaughter, and many dear friends.
Her legacy is one of vibrancy, expression,
forward motion, and love.
Close Enough · Oil and acrylic on canvas · 16 X 20 in
“Mom was the queen. She was the absolute shit.
There's this darling little Sylvia-shaped hole in the universe now and it will never be filled.
It’s that gap in her choreography, that hollow in her favorite chair by the window.
It’s that stabbing pain in the guts of everyone she loved,
everyone she inspired, everyone she helped, everyone she laughed with.
“Her love was an unstoppable force.
It didn't matter what you threw at her, she kept right on loving loving loving.
When I came out in college (I know. I know. Surprise!) she wasn't even phased.
She sent me a pack of gum and a box of condoms and a little note that said:
"Now there's nothing holding you back." She was my forever soulmate.
(Sorry, Mark, but it's true and you know it.)
I can’t tell you what a relief it is to me that Mom and I always agreed
she would merciless haunt me after death.
She's probably here right now.
Make sure to tell them how timeless and effortless my fashion sense was.
Tell them I want Ryan to have all my clothes.
“I'm trying to be optimistic here. It's not enough. I want her. I miss her. So much.
Every day. Every second. I'm scared to wake up tomorrow.
What does the world even look like without my mom? Does it even exist?
Or is it just a black, endless vacuum? Like space but without the stars.
I feel like a little boy, you know? I want my mommy!
“It's so easy to be blind to a person's faults when they die.
And, of course, I know mom wasn't perfect.
But she was close enough for me.”
A P.S. just for Paige:
I know you're hurting the most.
I know it felt sometimes like mom spoke emotional French and you spoke emotional Mandarin.
It felt like she couldn’t see who you were but only what she thought you could be.
But I want to tell you something she once told me about you.
She said: ‘I think hospitality might be Paige’s super power.
She's efficient, she has perfect recall — she never writes anything down.
She's nice but it's more than that. She can really read people.
She's chatty if people are lonely, silent if they need to be left alone —
if a group of frat boys comes in, she's in MILF mode.
If it's a family with a bunch of kids, she's Mary Poppins.
She makes iHOP feel like The goddamn Whitney.
She believed in your potential. She was proud of you —
She was proud of how you were raising Gwenny.
I know love sometimes isn’t enough if there’s any kind of fine print
(Oh my god, somebody write that down!)
but I believe that the fine print always read: I love you I love you I love you.